Things seem to slide right off you so easily, but everything always stays with me, things come to rest and settle on the curves of my body. I don’t forget things, and most times I don’t want to either. There are so many things I’m holding on to, whether I should be or not. In the ridges of my ears are all the words I was never supposed to hear. When I hunch my shoulders, I find the hollow of my collarbone to be full of all the words I never said (but should have, or wanted to). On the curve of my chest rests all the memories I never want to forget, close to my heart. In between my ribs are where all my secrets hide, and there is a list running from one hipbone to the other of all the people I’ve ever said ‘I love you’ to. Behind my left knee are all the dreams I’ve ever had, and behind my right are all the nightmares. On my shoulders sit all my goals and plans, and each scar on my body contains the names of everyone I’ve ever kissed. The lines of my palms contain every word I’ve ever written. Between the bones of my spine are all the different feelings I’ve ever had. Sometimes my body feels so heavy with the weight of all of these things. Sometimes I’m afraid I’ll tip over, sometimes my limbs feel so heavy and I feel tired for no good reason. But there are just things I can’t let go.
Sometimes I’m afraid I’ll tip over.