The more I suffer the more I love. So this prolonged distance between the two of us will help us become winners when we come face to face again. You’ll be surprised at how much I’ve grown. In my heart I hope you’ve done the same.
This is what I’ve been trying to put into words for a while…
driving on the interstate at night you can see fires on the hills. i want to be the person you call late at night when you’ve just finished your favorite movie and you are so full of smiles and joyous giddy laughter that you’ve got to share it with someone. last week we said goodbye at an airport which is what i hate most about goodbyes, knowing we’re parting but you’ll be in the same building for the next two hours before you really go, and i can’t be with you. you promise to call when you can and i promise to write. i’m going to learn to paint and cut out all the pictures in all the magazines that come to our house, even if they aren’t ours. i’m going to send you pages of the french novel i bought at goodwill for a dollar and hope they tell you what i’m feeling. i don’t know what i’m feeling but it’s somewhere in between fear and the absolute necessity to hug everything. what i miss most, besides having a warm body to lean against at night and the small sounds you make when you move between dreams is the way you push your fingers through my hair and tap my nose so it’ll scrunch up and you kiss my forehead. i miss staring at each other through the viewfinders of manual cameras, filling up rolls of black and white film with silly faces and white christmas lights. i guess i know that i am that person. we are that person for each other. it is easier when you are here.
that I find myself wanting to share every moment of my day with you. Like, I just find myself doing the most ordinary things and wishing to include you in them. I want to text you just to say “I’m in this fabric store with my friends and they already have christmas stuff out - isn’t that ridiculous?” or “I am sitting here eating cheesecake with cinnamon sprinkled on and reading music blogs. Mmm on both accounts.”
No unusual stories or revelations. I just get these urges to share my life with you.
“Our hearts yearn backward. We long to be found, hoping our searchers have not given up and gone home. But I no longer hope to be found. Do not follow me! Let’s just be fabulously where we are and who we are, You be you and I’ll be me, today and today and today, and let’s trust the future to tomorrow. Let the stars keep track of us. Let us ride our own orbits and trust that they will meet. May our reunion be not a finding but a sweet collision of destinies!”—Love, Stargirl (via littlemiss)
Moleskin: originally referring to the short, silky fur of a mole, is heavy cotton fabric, woven and then sheared to create a short soft pile on one side. The word is also used for clothing made from this fabric. It is also used in adhesive pads stuck to the feet to prevent blisters.
Moleskine : (mol-a-skeen’-a)is a popular brand of notebook manufactured by Moleskine srl, an Italian company. Although the name implies otherwise, the notebook is not bound in moleskin, but in oilcloth-covered cardboard. Other distinct features include an elastic band to hold the notebook closed, a sewn spine that allows it to lie flat when opened, rounded corners, a ribbon bookmark and an expandable pocket inside the rear cover.
Completely different things. Using the former to mean the latter brings to mind horrifying images of adorable little rodents being commercially mutilated then left cruelly to die all red and bloody without their fur, it’s quite unsettling. Please don’t embarrass yourself further this really isn’t that hard you know.
The ones where, while it’s happening, time both seems to stop and yet speed up to an incredible rate. Where you suddenly are acutely aware of every single one of your senses, yet at the same time you don’t feel anything and it’s like you’re hovering above your own body, not quite there at all.
And when the moment ends you feel stunned. Then you re-live it. Over and over. You replay it in your head and reenact the scenario a million times, examining every single detail. Every glance. Every smile. Every movement. You get that odd feeling inside where your heart tightens up and you feel all warm inside. Your innards all feel like they’re both expanding out of your body, and yet shrinking away.
It aches. You think about the moment over and over and wish nothing more than to revisit it just one more time. Have those feelings again. Be in that moment of pure bliss just once more.
hand is on the asphalt, & then your curls, & then i’m there too laying beside you. & it’s just quiet. it’s just quiet, because the earth is breathing, & i want to kiss you, but i’m just a girl. & you’re this incredibly unbelievable boy, who i’ve memorized for years. your fingers tease mine, & they lazily skim over my knuckles, & oh god i feel beautiful.