“I am the kind of person who would miss a train or a plane to meet you for coffee. I’d take a taxi across town to see you for ten minutes. I’d wait outside all night if I thought you would open the door in the morning. If you call me and say ‘Will you…’ my answer is ‘Yes’, before your sentence is out. I spin worlds where we could be together. I dream you.”—Jeanette Winterson (via lovelyeverythingg)
“I let it go. It’s like swimming against the current. It exhausts you. After a while, whoever you are, you just have to let go, and the river brings you home.”—~ Joanne Harris, Five Quarters of the Orange (via conflictingheart)
“I fell in love with him. But I don’t just stay with him by default as if there’s no one else available to me. I stay with him because I choose to, every day that I wake up, every day that we fight or lie to each other or disappoint each other. I choose him over and over again, and he chooses me.”—Veronica Roth, Allegiant (via mingdliu)
“There’s nothing the matter with me. I’m mad, I suppose. I ought to have had the decency to keep away. But I wanted to see you — I wanted to tell you — I’m in love. Anyhow, I’m out of my mind. I can’t think, I can’t work, I don’t care a hang for anything in the world. One moment I’m happy; next I’m miserable. I hate her for half an hour; then I’d give my whole life to be with her for ten minutes; all the time I don’t know what I feel, or why I feel it; it’s insanity, and yet it’s perfectly reasonable. Can you make any sense of it? Can you see what’s happened? I’m raving, I know; I’m in love […]”—Virginia Woolf, from Night And Day (via violentwavesofemotion)
“There is something about words. In expert hands, manipulated deftly, they take you prisoner. Wind themselves around your limbs like spider silk, and then you are so enthralled you cannot move, they pierce your skin, enter your blood, numb your thoughts.”—The Thirteenth Tale by Diane Setterfield (via spilled-milk72)
No there is not a moment when I don’t remember, what it took for us to get here how the hurdles made us jump higher how only words tied us to each other. You could try tear me apart look at the lies you told yourself so you could sleep at night. All the things you did to steal a lifetime worth of love.
Sometimes you need to remind yourself that you were the one who carried you through the hard times. You are the one who sits with the cold body on the shower floor, and picks it up. You are the one who feeds it, who clothes it, who tucks it into bed, and you should be proud of that. Having the strength to take care of yourself when everyone around you is trying to bleed you dry, that is the strongest thing in the universe.
“Look at the word responsibility—“response-ability”—the ability to choose your response. Highly proactive people recognize that responsibility. They do not blame circumstances, conditions, or conditioning for their behavior. Their behavior is a product of their own conscious choice, based on values, rather than a product of their conditions, based on feeling.”—Stephen R. Covey (via mingledwithfire)
Went out for lunch with Maddie today. It was a sleepy day at the office with no supervisor in sight (!) and I was more than happy to accept the invitation to get out of the cold office.
We had pies and jasmine green tea at the loveliest little deli at a nearby mall. I laughed to myself quite a bit, being around her. We share so many personality quirks that it was as if I was watching myself move around, being slightly klutzy but so very charming at the same time (I’m not claiming to be charming myself, in fact I’m quite awkward when being clumsy). I dipped my sleeve into the yummy gravy twice.
Now I’m back at the office, digesting both the lovely food and some weighty thoughts. From our conversation I’m being nudged into rethinking the phrase that life doesn’t always turn out to be exactly the way we plan it. Unexpected things WILL happen, people happen, and everything collides.
Are our reactions and responses a choice or all instinctive? How far do we go to exercise control over the people in our lives? Do we judge people too fast, or do we not judge each other enough?
Are we putting enough effort to being closer to Allah so that our hearts can find peace and calm no matter what hardship is being thrown our way? I feel so young around Madds. Oh wait that sounds wrong. I meant I feel naive and unexperienced, still so sheltered from what the world holds. Once again I’ll say that knowing her feels like having an older sister, someone who listens to me and cares for what I’m going through. I can only hope I offer the same sense of comfort :’D insya Allah.
P.S. I express emotions it in too many emoticons these days it’s as if each emoticon is erasing another word in my vocabulary.
I suppose rambling is good enough for now. I’ll make sure I write a couple of posts here each week to remember my days by. And I’m buying a notebook this evening to make into an everyday gratitude journal. Trying to instill more positivity AND increasing my vocabulary this year.
I always remain a girl amazed. In the years between you could have had your pick, still you chose me. Such poetic fate only God could have orchestrated. And here I am cradling your curly head of hair, watching you deep in slumber, smiling so peacefully in my arms. Your warm hands enveloping mine. How could I look away, how could I fall asleep willingly? Each breath you take is so precious. Our story. The time and distance it took to get to this moment.